Denver Real Estate ~ Challenges in home sales
A little bit of humor on a lovely May day in Denver, Colorado.
Disclosure, disclosure, disclosure!
How much value can we add to the price when there is an entry into another dimension from the basement? Would that make the home “attached”? Would the evil clown count as a tenant ( month to month or extended lease)? And could the Buyers eventually evict the clown or terminate the lease after purchase? Or would it be considered adverse possession and the clown might be able to sue for part ownership? So many questions that might come up!
No, I don’t have the answers!
Inspiration thanks to Jeff Turner of Real Estate Shows
Urban Real Estate
Everyday challenges of selling Denver urban real estate…
Nuts! Was it the second from MY left or Your left?
YouTube Video is a good metaphor for the real estate market
Ten Ways to Sell Your Home…not
Home Selling Advice For Sellers:
- Overprice your home. Everyone knows the price is not really the price. Don’t worry when nobody comes by your house to look. Someday some little green men from Mars will land in your neighborhood and think your house is the best deal in the universe. You will get your price, well maybe not in U.S. Currency, but by then we may all be using the Euro anyway.
- Don’t pick up your laundry. Why bother? Any buyer who wants your home will be looking for a “homey” place. What’s a home without boxers or briefs laying around?
- Follow the buyers around so you can explain to them how little time you have to do the basic ordinary repairs. Oh and don’t forget to tell them about all the things you were “going to do” one day.
- When the showing service calls, be sure to negotiate a time different than what the consumers would like. Heck, why make it easy for them to see your home, being easy is a sign of weakness.
- Don’t bother to paint the failed color walls. Yes, they looked like crap from the very first day you opened the Sherwin Williams can, but geeze whiz! Your Realtor can describe the outlandish, headache producing colors as “DESIGNER INTERIOR” and perhaps find a niche buyer who is color blind.
- Never put Fido and Rex outside. Everyone knows a barking, jumping dog is adorable. Pets ad a special dimension to a home that can only be appreciated when the pet is begging for attention. Having multiple pets on the premises makes the experience even more pleasurable. Loudly barking dogs have been known to help the buyer imagine what the home would sound like with their own loudly barking dogs. The buyers will appreciate your unbelievable consideration.
- When showing the buyers around the home, preface every statement with, “well with a full price offer, I will….” Laying out firm negotiation terms is always very helpful particularly prior to the buyer ever expressing any desire to purchase your home.
- Never prepare for inspection items. So what that 100% of home inspectors will state your furnace should be “cleaned and serviced by a licensed HVAC professional.” Since they are going to ask, there is no sense in showing an eagerness to be prepared, so wait. There is an off-chance that the Martians haven’t started using home inspectors therefore you may be able to slink away without spending a fiver on the filter. Clean furnace filters are so over-rated.
- Don’t waste time fixing the front door lock. Most people never use the front door, everyone knows the most common entrance is through the garage door! The only people who will be using the front door are the buyers. The key WILL work if you pull the door forward while pushing the bottom of the door with your right foot and holding the knob slightly left while pressing somewhat to the right at the same time pushing the bottom part of the key to the upper edge of the left side and pushing very hard. IF the door doesn’t open try a little extra force with your right shoulder, but not too much as it is a hollow core door and if you push too hard the door will fly off the hinges, again. Just prepare these instructions and email them to the showing secretary so she can carefully read them to the agents calling for a showing. Besides fixing a door lock now is really a waste of energy since the new home owner will probably want new locks anyway.
- Don’t bother to shovel the snow off the walk. Buyers love to know they are the very first to view a home. The best way to demonstrate this is to let the sidewalks collect ice and snow as deep as you can get it. Buyers will be able to see footprints. If there are no footprints in the snow, then they know they are the first to view your home. Be sure to make them take off their shoes after walking in the deep snow, otherwise you will have water puddles in your home. Don’t provide a rug for the buyers to place their shoes on. It’s best the buyers leave their shoes outside, to keep the snow clung frozen to the shoes rather than in your house. The buyers don’t mind walking around barefoot on a chilly floor. If you can’t make the time to be at the house, be sure to make a big sign and place it outside on your door. It will save you lots of time and trouble.
(Disclaimer: The above hints are purely fictional. If any represent a current, past or future seller it is totally accidental. None of these hints have ever been used in entirety by one seller. In part well…I’ll never tell!)
What happened in Vegas…got recorded. Oh my!
2007 may go down as the year NAR recognizes the Blogger! In Las Vegas last week, blogging was talked about and bloggers were present. It is becoming abundantly clear, blogging is a way to connect with consumers. If Realtors aren’t blogging they should be.
Dan Green put together a short video starring a group of bloggers (me too!).
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The stars of the show are:
Thanks for including me Dan, it was fun!
Denver restaurant review
A Denver food place is serving up a new dish.
Go Rockies!
Friends don’t let the flowers drink too much
Denver has a humorous water conservation campaign going on now. If you would like to pledge to save water please visit the Use Only What You Need Site. (Even if you don’t live in Denver visit the site, it’s worth the trip! I promise!)
toilet seats are
New home construction continues to build in conveniences Grandma never had.
There was a time when Grandma looked forward to in-door plumbing as a new and modern convenience. Fast forward conveniences today…
We now have toilet seats with Easy Close hinges. No more annoying slams of the toilet seat. No more pinched fingers.
Of course Grandma isn’t the only one who want s tranquility in the bathroom. Every woman would appreciate a toilet lid that closes quietly.
I have one for sale! In fact I have 5 of these lovely, quiet toilet lids for sale, buy them and get a stately, brand new house to go along with them. $719,000.00
3135 Soaring Eagle Lane, Castle Rock, Colorado
Interstate 25 Changes Name to Honor Local Realtor
Naming Names
Names are important they help us identify in life. Naming a baby becomes a monumental task to many parents, much so they spend hours researching and discussing the most appropriate label for their progeny. This process is sometimes made easier by reclaiming names of one’s ancestors. If that doesn’t work, there is always the Internet. On the Internet parents and grandparents alike can research an endless selection of names and their ranking in popularity by state!
Another fascinating naming conundrum would be the naming of streets. When it comes to naming streets, typically the developer gets to do that. Unfortunately, for them there is no easy reference on the Internet. They either get to make the name up, or take it from an existing name. To save time they pick a name say Desperado and tag it as a Drive, Court, Road, Way, Circle, Trail, Street or Avenue. This may save the Developer time and effort but it certainly makes a Realtor’s work much harder. If one is not careful when looking for 89094 Desperado Way and gets on Desperado Circle, it could prove embarrassing for all parties!
Some street names are less than wonderful. I often wonder why the name was chosen. For example Black Widow Way, Buckwheat Run, Rattlesnake Circle or Dead Man Gulch Road. Would you clamor to live on these streets? Imagine being asking, "What is your address?" Well, I live on Crazy Horse Trail."
Letting my imagination wander, I’ve played with an idea. Since I am a Realtor, what would happen if I, like the parents of a newborn, would be met with the challenge of having to place my clients on a street that matched their personalities. In example, a religious family would need to live on Bible’s Hill Drive. Or a couple that just split up would need two homes, one on Bitterbrush Lane and the other on Bitter Sweet Drive. An eternal optimist could choose to live on Bird Song Drive or Satisfaction Circle. Kinky folks would probably opt for Buggy Whip Road. Those folks tired of "honey do" lists would certainly welcome an address on Tall Grass Way. A narcissist would work well on Adonis Court don’t you think?
When choosing the perfect address, I personally would not want to live somewhere I could not spell. Even if I learned to spell my street, I would still be committed to spelling hell, because no one could spell it either. Apishamore Court, Rhyolite Way, Potentilla Place, Pale Anemone Street or Oehlmann Park Road come to mind.
In the Denver metro area, I discovered there is a political imbalance. We have a Democrat Road, but nowhere near is there a Republican Street, Road, Drive, Circle, Way or anything. I wonder why the Republicans haven’t demanded equal time!
My favorite street name of all time is Jack Ass Hill Road. If Realtors really had to match clients to the street, I fear there would be a Seller’s Market on Jack Ass Hill, don’t you?
(Note: all the street names above are actual names in the Denver Metro Area!)
This site brought to you by Kristal Kraft, a licensed Colorado Real Estate Broker
